LINGUISTIC ETIQUETTE IN COMMUNICATION

There are three factors influence children in their daily communications. First is social distance, this factor shows the discrepancy of delivering their aims to older people and it affects impoliteness in communication, for instance, using Javanese word kowe to their parents. Then, in social interaction, the children assert their statement by adding some animal and impolite words to their friends, and they think it as trend in nowadays communication. The second factor is social power consists of four aspects; interlocutors’ position, age, gender, and language impairment. This factor is much influenced by education background and understanding of religion. The third is degree of imposition which explains children’s way of uttering their will. It shows that when children speak to friends or parents, they do not care their words and intonation.


INTRODUCTION
According to Wardhaugh (2006), a language is essentially a set of items, such entities as sounds, words, grammatical structures, and so on. Language is useful in communication; it determines whether the communication will sink or swim. In communicating, the knowledge is shared among people who speak same language, the way of transferring the knowledge is not understood well. This relates to psychological and social factors in society. The relation of language and society get connected by linguistics; sociolinguistic. Hudson in Wardhaugh (2006) defines sociolinguistics as the study of language in relation to society. In accordance with Hudson, Wardhaugh mentions sociolinguistics is concerned with Carla Maretha, Gali Alrajafi, Yulia Wahyuningsih (2021) Linguistic Etiquette In Communication

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investigating the relationships between language and society with the goal being a better understanding of the structure of language and of how languages function in communication.
The relation between language and society has several possible things, as described by Wardhaugh (2006). "There are several possible relationships between language and society. One is that social structure may either influence or determine linguistic structure and/or behavior. Certain evidence may be adduced to support this view: the age-grading phenomenon whereby young children speak differently from older children and, in turn, children speak differently from mature adults; studies which show that the varieties of language that speakers use reflect such matters as their regional, social, or ethnic origin and possibly even their gender; and other studies which show that particular ways of speaking, choices of words, and even rules for conversing are in fact highly determined by certain social requirements." Based on the description above, the age-grading phenomenon in communication is much related to the children. The children have their own style in delivering their ideas to others. Nowadays, it is clearly reflected. Children should have different way when they are communicating with the older person, younger, or same ages. However, they implied the same way to communicate with, children have no distinct way to utter the idea to the others and they assume that all equal. The worst one is children said taboo word. This will be very dangerous, since they think the taboo words are something common. Therefore, this research is to investigate the factors influence children in their daily communications.

METHOD
This research includes qualitative research. Stake (2010) mentions that qualitative research is based on personal experience, intuition, and skepticism work alongside, and personal interpretation. It relies mostly on human perception and understanding. Qualitative research methods are built around experiential understanding, the methods will be different depending on whether particularization or generalization is orientation. The most common methods of qualitative research are observation, interviewing, and examination of artifacts.
The method applied in conducting the research is interviewing.
To collect the data, researcher interviews twenty children of 10-14 years old. The first step in collecting the data is preparing questions list of interviewing which consists of 10 questions. Then, the researcher takes note to the question, and directly interviews the object (15 children). The answers of interviewee are typed in Ms. Word.
After gathering the data, analyzing to the collected data, is the step which should be done by the writer. This step is one of the important steps to conduct and answer the question of which have been stated. There are some steps to analyze the data, as; reading the data carefully, understanding the data, and classifying the data whether valid or not. Then, analyzing the data based on theory.

RESULT AND DISCUSSION
Linguistic etiquette is in field of language use which relates to politeness.
To assert this, Kasper declares that linguistic etiquette and politeness can be used interchangeably (Coulmas, 1998). There are some factors of politeness marking i.e. social distance, social power (authority), and degree of imposition. The discussion that follows will be in the factors; first is social distance, second is social power, then degree of imposition.

Social Distance
According to Yule (1998), politeness can be accomplished in situations of social distance or closeness which is often describes in terms of respect or deference. It can be said that the social distance influences people to communicate. The children in RT 21 have distinct way in uttering their idea to friends and parents. The responses which have been given to the first question of Carla Maretha, Gali Alrajafi, Yulia Wahyuningsih (2021) Linguistic Etiquette In Communication

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interview, it is gained that when they are communicating with the older person, they will use the common words. Unfortunately, they use un-respected word to their parents; in one case that asking some money. The children ask the parents to give them some money, when parents cannot give it, children will utter that parents are stingy. To express this, children say kowe (Javanese, ngoko biasa; low style, no honorifics) to their parents. In social distance, the thing measured is the respect of speaker to interlocutor. Javanese recognizes speech level viz. Krama inggil (high style, high honorifics), krama biasa (high style, no honorifics), krama madya (middle style, no honorifics), ngoko sae (low style, high honorifics), ngoko madya (low style, low honorifics), ngoko biasa (low style, no honorifics). Since children are speaking to their parents, they should to respect them. It sounds very impolite to speak kowe to their parent in whatever the condition. They can use ngoko sae to express the word you (pandjenengan), or it is better to them to say mamak or bapak than saying kowe or pandjenengan to their parents.
On the other words, it will sound polite to say kowe to their friend, as mentioned by Wardhaugh (2006) that low level is the style all children learn first regardless of social-class origin, and everyone uses it on some occasion, even close acquaintances of the highest classes.
In their social interaction, children will express different way to their friend in asking something, for example, the help. They put some assertion to their speech as reinforcement of their will. They say something close to the animals or social status. It indicates that they do not respect each other. When they are questioned whether they know the real meaning of the expression, they say they know the thing but not for the effect. They just say it as trend in communication.

Social power
Social power or authority is the factor of politeness marking which is proposed by Brown and Levinson and Leech (Coulmas: 1998). They argue that social power in politeness is effected by some aspect; interlocutors' relative position in social hierarchy, age, gender, and language impairment. The investigation to social power as factor of politeness is describes in the aspects: a. Interlocutors' position The position of interlocutors in society can be seen from the background of their family and education which is known as social elevator in society. Friends and older people are the interlocutor, people that children speak to. The data shows that children do not see background of the interlocutors, they seem confident to utter what they want to inform to them. They use their own way to answer or respond the interlocutors, looked like they do not have manner. It is because of family background, where the parents are busy with their own business. Economic needs force parents to wok extra, so they do not enough time to take care of their children.
One of the questions interviewed of interlocutors' position is parents' education background. It is because the education will affect them in teaching the children how to act politely. The answer is most of their parents have low education; some of them are illiterate, secondary and junior high. It indicates that the parents do not have strong basic to accompany their children in facing global challenge. Low education causes the parents to speak as they want, without considering whether the children will imitate it or not, whether the children know that it is polite or impolite to say. The parent seem to be careless in uttering words for this short, it impacts the way of children communicate with parents or friends.
Really pardon to say; sometimes parent calls children with an animal figure or devil when getting angry, so that the children follow that to express their feeling to friends, even parents.

b. Age
Kasper gives sample use of age as in communication by and with the elderly and children (Coulmas, 1998 Unfortunately, they do not distinguish how to deliver good intentions to peers or older. The understanding of children aged 10 to 14 years to a thing felt pretty good; in the true sense of form, but not enough to understand the meanings that exist in society. For example, in the association they often use the term widow of his interlocutors, both boy and girl. When they are asked what the widows, they mentioned a woman who is not married or divorced in condition of live or die. This means that he put true. But in society, the word widow sounds negative, especially for a woman whose age is still classified as young. Thus, when they express it and did not mean that thing, it can be the offense in the community, since the status of so many women in society.
This shows that age is very influential on the level of understanding of a term and has an impact on the understanding of modesty in communicating, particularly children to older people. In answering the questions, children respond it clearly. The children mention that they often hear rude words from their parents. The rude words uttered relates to animal and devil. When they are asked how often it happens, they say it is too often. For the question; in what condition or context it is said, most of the children say that when the parents get angry with them. It is too much of expressing the anger and effects the children's thought that the rude words are common. The surprising fact is the rude words are uttered by mother.
To coprehend more, the understanding of religion values is very essential in this part. When uttering the rude words, the children are questioned that they know it is sin. The respond of this question is they know it, but they assume that it is common expression for the parents often mention the words. This develops in society especially for 10 to 14 years old children. They speak the rude words easily without consideration, even it is judged as bad thing by norms of religion and modesty. This thing causes the impairment of polite and gently language which must be proper to be uttered by the children, the phenomenon gives huge impact to the way of children in communication.

d. Gender
The word gender in linguistics is one of linguistic variables which can be researched. Gender is different from sex, as mentioned by Giddens in Coulmas (1998); gender concerns the psychological, social and cultural differences between males and females. The distinction of gender as linguistic variable is in language use, males are more often in using non standard language when they are communicating with; meanwhile females refer to use standard language in daily talk.
The data which are gained tend to the statement above, where in daily communication; boys speak badly by saying rude words more than girls who keep their image as lovely and obedient children. However, when girls are bothered, they will say something rude what they know. It means that the girls can determine the condition and situation to pronounce those words. The indication of saying something impolite is to show boys' masculinity, this is in accordance to Trudgill in Coulmas (1998)  "...., first of all the already mentioned observation that men use more nonstandard forms than women. The question is why working-class (WC) men (and in this study young women as well) stick to their low-prestige nonstandard variety. To explain this Trudgillhas adopted Labov's (1966b) notion of "covert prestige": for men nonstandard variants fulfill the function of solidarity markers which highlight certain group values like "masculinity." Therefore, it can be said that to keep their image as brave boys is the motive of uttering rude words in association.

Degree of imposition
According to Brown and Levinson in Coulmas (1998), degree of imposition is related to face-threatening act or the costs and benefits of an act. It means that degree of imposition is in sense of face notion or self image, as mentioned by Yule (1996); "As a technical term, face means the public self-image of a person. It refers to that emotional and social sense of self that everyone has and expects everyone else to recognize." The children's responds toward interview are in mutual accord to theory applied in this study. Based on the answer of question which has been proposed, all the children show the existence of degree of imposition that relates to face notion, particularly in field of saying something; on record and off record.
It is acquired that children tend to express their meaning in concept of saying something; on record. It indicates that they are more open in uttering what they meant both to colleague and older people, for example, when they want to borrow a motor cycle from their parents, they directly say it without platitude.
This also happens, when they want to borrow a hand phone form their friends, they just declare it.

CONCLUSION
Of all the research activity which the researcher has carried out, it can be assumed that there are three factors influence children in their daily communications. First is social distance, this factor shows the discrepancy of delivering their aims to older people and it affects impoliteness in communication, for instance, using Javanese word kowe to their parents. Then, in social interaction, the children assert their statement by adding some animal and impolite words to their friends, and they think it as trend in nowadays communication. The second factor is social power consists of four aspects; interlocutors' position, age, gender, and language impairment. This factor is much influenced by education background and understanding of religion. The third is degree of imposition which explains children's way of uttering their will. It shows that when children speak to friends or parents, they do not care their words and intonation. Therefore, the writer suggests the older people or parents to give good condition in order to increase the politeness of children by sending them to oriented religion school and to avoid saying impolite words to the children.